boring idiotic people who choose to use other cheap inferior
toilets (such as the ridiculously fast Microsoft "Toilet
2000" or "Loo XP") have to unclog the old-fashioned
way - by pressing the "unclog" button. We laugh
in their faces because the procedure is just so much quicker
and far more fun with the iToilet! To unclog, follow these
STEP 1: When the message box pops
up telling you that the iToilet has clogged, simply
click the restart button in the dialogue box. Keep clicking
this button until you realise that it won't do anything
anyway because the iToilet has totally frozen and is
not responding. Proceed to Step 2
STEP 2: Press and hold the following
keys on your iToilet keypad: Ctrl+Shift+Alt+Command+Esc.
This doesn't do anything either, so proceed to Step
STEP 3: Restart your iToilet by inserting
a straightened paperclip into the restart pin-hole.
This is located in a hard to reach place at the back
of the iToilet. The paperclip will break and get stuck
in the pin-hole, invalidating your warranty. Proceed
to step 4.
STEP 4: Carefully lift the toilet
seat. Close it, then lift it again. Nothing will happen.
Proceed to Step 5.
STEP 5: Place your hand in amongst
the muck that is clogging up the pipe.
STEP 6: Simply feel around for another
tiny pin-hole which is also hidden away in a difficult
to reach place and push another straightened paper clip
firmly into the pin hole. Because you have your hand
submerged in water and are touching metal you will be
This is not Apple's problem and we insist that the pin-holes
are a good design feature and are part of our "Think
Different" policy. You might want to have a look
at "Apple Care" which now includes life insurance
(please note that death by electrocution is not covered.)
Proceed to Step 7.
STEP 7: The iToilet will suddenly
restart by itself for no apparent reason, and even though
you are "bursting to go" you must wait patiently
for it to load (this is really really really slow when
compared to other toilets, but hey, the iToilet looks
funky and there's a cute little smiley face for you
to look at when it starts up!) Once the iToilet has (finally)
loaded it will still be clogged. Wash your hands and
proceed to Step 8.
STEP 8: Proceed to Step 1.