Doctrine of the Cult of the Sacrilegious Apple

Cult of the Sacrilegious Apple

 

~Doctrine~

 

Welcome to the Cult's Doctrine Page. Here you will read of the beliefs of the Cult of the Sacrilegious Apple. Those serious about blindly following the way of the Cult along the path most sketchy ought to read this page in full!

 

Index

Part One: Fundamental Beliefs

Part Two: Behaviour

Part Three: Witnessing

Part Four: Worship / Ceremonies

Part Five: Sacred Artefacts and Icons

End

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Part One: Fundamental Beliefs

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Part Two: Behaviour

 Return to Index 

 

 

Part Three: Witnessing

Return to Index 

 

 

Part Four: Worship / Ceremonies

Unless your intention is to join the inner circles of the Cult of the Sacrilegious Apple, your basic obligation to the Cult is relatively simple:

These guides will provide you with all you need to know. There are initiations to the inner circles, punishments, example setting, S&M for the hell of it, secret meetings, unmentionable acts of indecency, passwords, rude words, acts of prostration, eating of meals, call ups, forced relations etc, but you only need know about these things in depth when they apply to you (member or not).

On the issue of prayer - it is unnecessary because even if Steve Jobs could hear you, he'd probably not listen. He still hasn't returned my calls or e-mails, bless him. But if you want to pray to gods of other religions in support of Steve and Apple, we can use all the supernatural help we can get!

February will see Jobsmass. Details will follow closer to the time.

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Part Five: Sacred Artefacts and Icons

All religions have their sacred artefacts and icons. We at the Cult of the Sacrilegious Apple are no different, though we insist we do think different! What follows are the icons and objects important to our blind trust.

 

 

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This Doctrine must never be altered in any way unless we want to. But no one else can. It's ours!

 

 

 

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